Every Girl's Dream

You may have heard the NFL and the NBA are both in lockout situations.  This means there could potentially be a fall/winter without basketball and football.  Hold on ladies, don't go putting your party hat on just yet.  Here's why the lockout is not as great as it may sound.

Think about what your life will be like without these sports for a season.  I bet you are imagining six months of you and your significant other antiquing, having long meaningful conversations, and dinners with your parents.  Well, I'm here to tell you that is NOT what you are in store for.  Think back to how your husband/boyfriend acts when they are sick.  The crying and whining, laying on the couch without purpose.  THAT is what your next 6 months is about to be like.

Here are some ideas of what to say to help your significant other get through this rough time:

He: I can't believe there may be a whole winter without football and basketball.
You:  That really sucks.  I really liked watching the games with you.  I was actually starting to get into it.

He: I love football.
You: Football is the best.

He: This lockout is ridiculous.
You: It boils down to a bunch of billionaires fighting with a bunch of millionaires over money.  They need to pull up their big boy pants and get back on the field/court.

He: How is Lebron ever going to get his six titles if the NBA locksout during his peak years.
You: Don't be ridiculous.  Lebron is never going to win six titles.

He: What are we supposed to do all winter!?...
This one is a trap.  Remember do NOT mention antiques or your parents.  Instead say:
You: We'll have to get by on NCAA.


If in the event your significant other starts up a conversation and you are in too deep with get out, simply ask them if they'd like a cold beer and then leave the room.

Hopefully both the NFL and NBA can come to some type of agreement.  If not, buckle up ladies, it's bound to be a rough couple of months.

Two Cities One Cup

As I'm sure you know, the Boston Bruins beat Vancouver in an exciting Game 7.  As Boston flew home to celebrate with their fans, Canadians showed their good sportsmanship by burning the city and sending many of their own fans to the hospital.  I really didn't think Canadians had it in them to get so angry and violent.  I guess losing Game 7 to the Canadians is a lot like how my mom felt about Oprah leaving daytime TV.  She still can't talk about it.

So Boston gets to hold onto the Stanley Cup (hockey's most important trophy) for the next year, and all Canada has is a lousy Olympic gold metal from a few months ago... how quickly one forgets.

I happened to be in Bean Town the weekend of the Stanley Cup Parade.  Id' like to say it was on purpose, because then I could maybe write the trip off as a business expense - it wasn't. However, since is was in the city I decided I should make my way to the parade, pay my respects to Stanley, and do a little reporting from the scene.

Here is Stanley in all his glory.

Each of the players rode through the streets of Boston on a Duck.  A Duck is a military vehicle turned tourist trap that can maneuver on land and water.  I know this because the day before I went on the tour (insert laughter here).  

While waiting the two and a half hours it took before the parade came through in the blazing hot sun among the Bruins fans in their black and yellow I couldn't help thinking - this might possibly be the closest I ever come to seeing Stanley in all his glory.  That is unless I bump into him at a local strip club.  I hear the players enjoy taking him for a dance now and then.  I wonder if the players tell the strippers they can look but not touch... In any event, the odds of that happening are only slightly higher than that of Oprah returning to daytime TV.

Remember Me???

So.... It's been awhile.  Have no fear!  I am back on the saddle and have lots of juicy sports info to keep you up to date with what's going on this summer.
To be completely honest, I have been trying to figure out how I can best cover the summer sports world.  I mean, there are 30 baseball teams out there, and each team plays something like 162 games.  If you think I'm going to write about each team everyday then you are off your rocker.  Likewise, I know you aren't really all that interested in every game anyway and just need a few juicy bites to sound like you know something. So.... let's get back to business and see what's been going on!

The Steelers "Turnover" and take it from the Packers

The Green Bay Packers beat the Pittsburgh Steelers 25-31 in the final game of the 2010/2011 season.  Overall here is a look at what happened.

• The Steelers defense was playing like they were startled by all of the bright lights of the cameras.  They had a hard time stopping the Packers on any big down.
• Big Ben (the Steelers quarterback) is known for taking his time in the pocket (he has quite the pump fake).  Normally this isn't a problem, but when your offensive line can't hold the defense you might think Big Ben would try to get out of the pocket and get rid of the ball a little faster.  That didn't happen - I guess I was wrong.
• Packers suffered three injuries during the game that took out some of their starting players,  but that was okay with them as that's how they have been winning all season long.  With injuries ensuing the Packers managed to work with the talent they had to fill the gaps.
• Aaron Rodgers won a new car... and will probably vacation in Disney World as he is named MVP of the game.

What's most amazing about the Green Bay Packers Super Bowl win is that they were a six seed team.  They had to beat Chicago to get into the playoffs, beat the Eagles and Falcons on the road, and then beat Chicago AGAIN.  The Packers definitely took the hard road.  In the end the trophy goes to the best team, and with the way Green Bay crawled back and took their fate into their own hands it's hard to argue with that.

No one mentioned Brett Favre or the potential lockout for next year, Christina Aguilera made up her own lyrics to our national anthem, the cameras caught Cameron Diaz hand feeding A-Rod popcorn, and Mike McCarthy (the Packers head coach) took a bath in orange Gatorade.  It might sound like a circus, but it's America's game and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Diamonds are a Boy's Best Friend

The Packers are going to the Super Bowl and Hell (I mean Dallas) has frozen over.  Tomorrow's big game featuring the Green Bay Packers and the Pittsburgh Steelers is fast approaching.  This past week, Dallas was hit with a large storm that brought freezing rain, snow, and ice.  Luckily, Jerry Jones sprung for the deluxe model so Cowboy Stadium has a dome.


I was correct in saying that Donald Driver would have another reason to wear his cowboy hat.  The Packers showed up in Dallas sporting black cowboy hats in an attempt to send a message.  The message was received loud and clear: not everyone looks good in a cowboy hat.  Especially not 300 pound linemen from Wisconsin.


This year the Black Eyed Peas are the halftime performers.  It will be this first time a woman had been the main halftime event since Janet Jackson's boob popped out in 2004.


Here are some interesting facts about tomorrow's game:

• Of the top 10 most watched television programs of all time, 9 of them are Super Bowls.
• A 30 second commercial spot during the Super Bowl costs 2.8 million dollars.
• 8 million pounds of guacamole will be consumed.  To put that into perspective, that would be like covering the field end zone to end zone in avocados that is 12 feet deep.
• 9 million pieces of pizza will be consumed.
• The Vince Lombardi Trophy made by Tiffany takes 72 man-hours to produce; it costs $12,500 - See men love things from Tiffany too!
• The winning team receives diamond encrusted Super Bowl rings.
• No network footage exists of Super Bowl I. It was taped over, supposedly for a soap opera. The two teams in Super Bowl I were the Green Bay Packers and the Kansas City Chiefs. The game was played in Los Angeles. - Oops!

For many tomorrow will be a day of mourning - the football season finally comes to an end.  However, if you are an aspiring Sports guy's girl, then it's a day to celebrate!  You successfully faked it through your first football season.

So, tomorrow enjoy the guacamole, pizza, overpaid commercials, men in tight pants, Tiffany trophy, and diamond rings.  Just remember: in the end diamonds are a boy's best friend.